Love across the miles

April 7, 2008 Kyron No Comments

It’s been an eternity it seems since I was able to write here. On incredibly short notice we packed the family up and drove to New Jersey from Georgia. It’s a 900+ mile trip and a bit over 16 hours in a car. Tons of fun with a toddler and a special needs child. Ok so maybe not. It was only made more difficult because of everyone was nervous about how Joan was going to be when we got there. Joan has been like a mother to me for longer than my daughter has been alive. Joan has been the grandmother on my side of the family to Katherine. Joan’s children, extended family and friends have all “adopted” me as Joan’s 5th child. 

Joan is ill, how ill is to be determined although nothing suggests that long term it will be good. How to address this with Katherine has been a discussion with extraordinary emotion over the past week. Not only am I worrying how to deal with making this easier on Katherine but I am worrying about making sure that my own personal emotions are not too overwhelming for Katherine. Losing someone you love is never easy. Learning how to lose someone you love is something we all eventually need to cope with. So not only do we have an journey to New Jersey but a journey through love and loss as well.

Of course I’ve looked things up online, and I’ve had a conversation with her treating doctors as well. Actually much of the information they gave me was intuitive to me for the most part. Mostly, what the doctors reminded me was that I didn’t need to put the cart in front of the horse. Just like life has a progression we can dose the information out little by little without clobbering her with all of it at once. Some of the information she’ll ask for as she needs it, other of it we can present in bite size pieces so that she has time to digest it.

None of us knows how much time we have left on this earth, nor do we know how much time the ones we love have. I know that it’s times like this that remind me of how important it is that we make the time to say I love you and to show it as often as possible. Taking time to drive to New Jersey through the rest of life into turmoil – for everyone and everything. Honestly though, I’d do it again in a heartbeat. In most ways it was anlovemail Love across the miles incredibly selfish trip – I needed to go see my mother. I just hope that through words spoken and unspoken she knows how much we all love her. I hope that Katherine remembers how important it is to not just say I love you but show it by your actions. I hope that the example set helps her learn that lesson well.

I appreciate the emails I’ve gotten from many of you inquiring about my absence. I am sorry it took so long to respond to you. Your kindness was appreciated. Hopefully I’ll be around for a bit now. I know that you all understand the delicate balance that already exists in being a special parent and additional things can really throw things completely out of whack. Well, we’re whacked but back. Hopefully you’ll take today to tell someone you love you’re thinking of them.

Katherine and I are making cards (coloring pictures and putting “love, Katherine” at the bottom) for some people she loves as tomorrow’s project. Like driving 900 miles via the US Postal Service. Or an email from someone you’ve never met but worries about you anyway.

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Categories : Depression, Mental Health

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