Mother’s Day? – The Day Will Come

May 12, 2008 Kyron 1 Comment

formom Mothers Day?   The Day Will Come

Yesterday was what my husband literally refers to as a “fake holiday”. By that he means one of those holidays he feels Hallmark and American Greetings conspired to get on the calendar to make us all run out and buy a dozen cards and create hurt feelings when expectations are inevitably not met and worse….but on with the point.

Quite honestly I don’t know how it even got to be Mother’s Day – the past week having been a blur for so many reasons. Honestly I had just had it and it was a day that I would have been happy just to sleep through with the covers securely over my head but that’s a pipe dream – the very fact that your a mother means that doesn’t happen. The fact that we had everyone converging on our house for Mother’s Day brunch that I was cooking made that an absolute.

Waffles, omelets, hash browns, sausage – oh yea, – mimosas !! (and yes, coffee) If I do say so myself it was a pretty good job on my part with the cooking (if you knew me you’d know that if *I* say it was good it was probably damned fantastic! LOL) Everyone seemed happy – except for me….and Katherine.

You can always tell….you can’t always put your finger on it but you can just tell something isn’t right and down she went – behaviors galore…..don’t even want to go into it but suffice it to say that I felt like the only mother in the world who had a child telling me I was the WORST MOTHER IN THE WORLD and so loved that she would HATE ME FOREVER. Ya, Happy Mother’s Day. Oh did I forget the STUPID IDIOT part? Yea, it was one heck of a great day.

That is why the email I got a few minutes ago made me feel so much better. For those of you not inclined towards religion you can skip part of this shortly and I’ll warn ya when.

In the past I’ve talked about Rising Above Ministries. Jeff Davidson has an email called Elevate that he sends out for free which I’ve really gotten to looking forward to receiving. Not overly religious but great messages for special needs parents – makes me feel less alone and gives me some good messages to have resonate in my heart on some days when I need it badly. Today was one of those days. Since his emails say very specifically that they can be shared without any permission, at will, I am taking Mr. Davidson at his word and sharing his latest email with you all here. If you had the less than Hallmark/American Greetings version of Mother’s Day that I had (dang fake holiday) maybe you can find some comfort here as well. (if you’re offended by anything even mildly religious this is probably where ya want to drop off)

The Day Will Come

Yesterday was`a memorable Mothers`Day in our house`but for all the wrong reasons.

Sundays are hard enough on Becky on a normal Sunday. Because of my ministry duties at our church I have to leave home at 7:00am and I don’t return home until 1:00 in the afternoon. That means Becky has to get Jon Alex up, dressed, fed, and to church all on her own. Even after she arrives, she is by herself because I have responsibilities before, during, and after both services.

We have been blessed to have an assistant that meets us at church and takes him to children’s worship and kid’s class so Becky at least gets to attend the service.

Being Mother’s Day Becky was so looking forward to this Sunday.

It started off bad and went downhill fast from there.

First, Jon Alex’s helper failed to show up so there was no one to help him. Becky took him to children’s worship but after a few minutes he walked to the door and then to the car, wanting to go home immediately. So much for church.

They had flowers for the moms but she had to leave before even getting one.

She put on a brave front at first assuring me it was OK and just part of it. It wasn’t until last night that she admitted she cried the whole drive home.

I thought I would treat her by bringing home takeout with me from one of her favorite restaurants. Those of you with special needs kids know its easier to get takeout than to try to sit down and eat in a restaurant.

When I arrived they had lost the order and had to start from scratch. I waited and waited. When I arrived home at almost two o’clock we discovered they had messed up her order.

That was probably the high point of the day thanks to me.

You see we have a group of a couple of dozen folks who come to our house on Sunday evenings for a meal and Bible study. Last night as they arrived I shifted into autopilot “ministry mode.” I was going around the room making sure I was speaking with everyone and that they were engaged. I would drift around the house making conversations, all the while in my head going over my thoughts and notes for the Bible study I was about to lead.

Meanwhile, I left Becky all alone to take care of Jon Alex, feed him his dinner, and tend to all his needs. I was so busy ministering to everyone but my own wife, that I left her to do it all. She didn’t even get to eat until everyone left after 8:00 last night.

On Mother’s Day.

God gave me a family before he gave me a ministry and they should come first. That was pretty pathetic on my part. And as usual, God dealt with me by making it another one of his “teaching moments.” So I’m apologizing to her right now as she reads this along with the rest of you in front of the whole internet world.

I want to acknowledge and recognize the thousands of you raising special needs kids who daily lay down your own lives for your kids. The way you have sacrificed your own dreams, plans, careers, and life’s aspirations to care for an individual with special needs– you are genuine heroes who don’t get the recognition you deserve. Every day, unlike most of us, you put the needs of your special needs child paramount in your life. You lay down your own life and sacrifice it for another.

The Bible says there is no greater love than to lay down your live for another person.
That’s what you do every day. You deserve more than just a special day.

And to those of you who are single parents trying to raise a child on your own, and wondering if anyone in the world understands and gets what you go through every day, please hear me.

I do.

But more importantly, God does too.

When you cry he captures your tears in his bottle. He has written your name on his hand.
He will not forget your sacrifice…ever. He will wipe away all your tears. He will make everything new. There will be no more sorrow and no more pain

Your special day is coming. It’s his promise.

Maybe Becky can also know how special her Mother’s Day was because it’s impacted others and let them know they are not alone. That’s hopefully some comfort knowing that many more good things have come from the bad you went through. Thank you Becky for being a great mom to Jon Alex and Happy Mother’s Day!

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Categories : General

Currently there is "1 comment" on this Article:

  1. Jenny says:

    Thank you for sharing this. I think the emotions you described here are ones all mothers can relate to. I linked to you from my blog so others could come read your sentiments, too.

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